


I'm not French, I'm Jealous.

by TB80



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, Light Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 14:02:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13976661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TB80/pseuds/TB80
Summary: Cosima is traveling the globe with the love of her life, and things have never been better. Everything is perfect. Everything except for two simple sentences that won't stop haunting Cosima's thoughts."I'm French. We enjoy lovers."





	I'm not French, I'm Jealous.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I am very late to this particular party, but I just spent the last two weeks bingeing my way through Orphan Black and totally fell in love with these two hot nerds. In typical me fashion, my brain immediately turned to fanfic. This is just a short drabble that came to me and wouldn't leave me alone until I got it on the page. Since I did, I figured I would share. 
> 
> This one is un-betad and you can blame Google translate for the, I'm sure incorrect, French.

Cosima blinked, the early morning sun streaming in through the thin curtains and peaking over Delphine's rib cage to hit her in the face. She and the Sun had a long, and antagonistic relationship. The burning ball of hydrogen and helium always thwarting her attempts to sleep late. Which was why at home she had turned her bedroom into a veritable den with heavy blackout curtains.

Only she wasn't at home now, but in another of a series of endless, and nondescript hotel rooms, so she was at the mercy of the early morning rays. After working their way through Central America, she and Delphine had finally made it to Brazil. Cosima wiggled closer to her bed partner, pressing her face against the smooth expanse of Delphine's back to try to block the sun.

Delphine shifted, issuing a soft grumble of protest, but she remained asleep. Cosima resisted the urge to trail her fingers over the skin before her, knowing it was sure to disturb the other woman's slumber. Delphine needed her sleep. They had been going almost non-stop for months, and exhaustion was a constant companion for both of them.

Cosima should be trying to get back to sleep as well. With the sun blocked, and cocooned in Delphine's warmth and scent, falling back into slumber should be an easy task. Easy, but for the thoughts racing through her mind.

Cosima had always had a busy mind. Being kept awake by her whirling thoughts wasn't a new experience. As a girl her mind had whirled with the endless possibilities of the fantastical worlds she read about in the books that were her constant companion. In college, her fansical musings had been replaced by the no less magical possibilities that could be unlocked with science.

Once she had learned the truth about herself, shutting her mind off had no longer been an option. Almost every moment, either waking or asleep, had been consumed with how to learn the truth of her and her sisters origins. Of finding a way to use her scientific knowledge to find a way to cure them all. Cosima didn't believe in god, but she believed it had to be more than a coincidence that she had chosen to dedicate her life to the one thing that could provide the key to unravelling it all.

Except, it wasn't the wonders of science that had her mind racing this morning. It was much more personal.

Delphine and her relationship had never been conventional. Even before they met there had been a world of secrets and half truths between them. Cosima had known better, had been warned by Sarah, but had still been unable to resist the almost magnetic pull of Delphine. Like adenine with thymine or cytosine with guanine.

Unconventional didn't bother Cosima. It was practically a way of life. She had been throwing off normative expectations almost since she could walk. Cosima could do unconventional.

What she couldn't do, she was coming to realize, was uncertainty. Their early relationship hadn't provided them the most solid foundation on which to build a relationship. There wasn't a lot of time to learn about your favorite childhood book when you were constantly on the run for your life.

The gaps were being filled in, slowly, now that they had the time and space to breath. No longer having to look over their shoulder at every turn, wary of DYAD or Topside, or Neolution.

Cosima had discovered that Delphine had an affinity for cheap Mexican beer. That she preferred to spend her weekends lounging in bed as long as possible. That she was an avid runner, and being able to get out and stretch her legs for a few miles was critical to her sense of inner equilibrium. Cosima treasured every new discovery.

It was good, better than good, it was all Cosima had ever wanted with the blonde. She had often scoffed at the idea of there being a perfect match out there for everyone, but sometimes, Delphine made her question that. Despite everything, they just fit. Cosima couldn't imagine anyone else slotting into her life and her heart quite so completely. Didn't want to imagine it.

Which was the crux of the problem. A part of her couldn't stop thinking about it. It wasn't that they were having problems. Far from it. Cosima had never been happier in a relationship. Delphine seemed to get her in a way that none of her previous girlfriends had even come close to matching. But somewhere, lurking in the back of her mind, Cosima wondered how long it would all last.

Something Delphine had said long ago, still echoing in Cosima's ears. Taunting her with the prospect that this blissful existence was on a timer ticking down to zero.

" _I'm French. We enjoy lovers."_

Cosima knew the statistics. Most relationships were not sexually exclusive, even if they tried to be. Delphine was just being up front and honest about it. Throwing off the puritanical mores that demanded sexual fidelity in the face of biological reality. A concept that was rooted in the church, and the belief that women's bodies were property of their husbands.

As a feminist through and through, Cosima fully believed that every women had control over their own sexual autonomy. No one had the right to tell her what she could, and couldn't do, with her own body. Not her parents, not her doctors, and certainly not a sexual partner.

Cosima had never really considered herself a traditionalist where relationships were concerned. Marriage, and kids, and a house in the suburbs, had never been part of the future she pictured for herself. What she was coming to realize however, was that sexual monogamy was part of that picture.

Cosima was an evolutionary biologist. She knew that monogamy was a social construct. That it went against the biological imperative. With the exception of a few species, it was an aberration of human behavior. To expect, or demand, monogamy from a partner was hopelessly naive, and in most cases, unrealistic. Humans, like all animals, tended to seek multiple partners. It was hard coded into their genes.

Cosima knew the science, but she still couldn't help how she felt.

Delphine loved her. Of that, Cosima had no doubt. If her past experiences had taught her anything it was to live each day to its fullest. To enjoy each moment for what it was, to wring every last ounce of joy and happiness from it that you could, and to try not to worry about what tomorrow would bring. So much of life was out of your control it was just a waste of time to worry about it.

Logically, Cosima knew all of this, but she couldn't stop the thoughts from swirling.

If it was the difference between keeping Delphine a part of her life, or letting her go, would Cosima be able to accept Delphine taking other people to her bed?

While Cosima had friends in open relationships, she had never been in one herself. She knew that many couples established rules, and while sexual fidelity wasn't expected, adherence to the rules was paramount to maintaining trust.

Cosima couldn't help but wonder what their rules would look like. Would she want to know when Delphine had been with someone else, or would she rather be kept in the dark? Should encounters be limited to one time events, or was it acceptable to take a regular lover on the side? Given their rather unique situation, should there be a no clones rule?

Cosima wouldn't deny that this most recent round of thoughts had been triggered by hearing Kamila Torres shamelessly flirting with Delphine a few days prior. Was Delphine ever tempted to compare? Like Cosima she was a scientist. They lived to collect data. To form hypotheses and test their assumptions.

Delphine loved her. Hopefully wanted to build a life with her. It shouldn't matter if she occasionally went to someone else to scratch an itch that Cosima wasn't capable of satisfying. It was just physical sensation and endorphins.

It shouldn't matter, but it did.

Cosima could lay out all the logical arguments as to why sexual fidelity didn't make sense, but none of that stopped the thought of Delphine sleeping with someone else, of wanting to sleep with someone else, twisting in her gut like a dull knife. She wanted to protest that Delphine was hers, and hers alone, and she didn't want to share.

The irony of that thought was not lost on Cosima. Cosima, who had fought so hard and long against the notion that another human being could ever be owned. Her body was hers, and hers alone. What she did with it, and who she chose to share it with, was her decision, and her decision alone.

Cosima wished that she could be as nonchalant, as French, about the whole idea as Delphine. To just accept it as a normal part of all relationships. Nothing that needed to be discussed, or worried over. It just was.

Cosima wished she could just ignore it, but given their history, she didn't think any secret, even an open one, was a good idea. They had promised each other no more secrets. Full disclosure, all cards on the table. Don't ask, don't tell was a thing of the past. Plus, Cosima's own insatiable need to know the truth of a thing, even if the truth wasn't something she wanted to face, wouldn't allow her to leave it unspoken.

No. At some point, probably soon, she and Delphine were going to have to have this conversation. To make sure that they were both on the same page. Even though it had only been a few months, and the pair spent almost every moment together, the uncertainty was driving Cosima a little crazy. Better to rip the bandaid off. To define a set of rules and parameters that would work for the both of them.

Cosima's biggest fear was that she wouldn't be able to accept Delphine's need for outside dalliances. With the exception of her brief attempt at normalcy with Shay, Cosima had had eyes only for Delphine from the moment they met. She didn't imagine that changing any time in the near future. She just wished Delphine felt the same.

But all that was something to worry about on another day. Today, Cosima was going to live in the moment. To appreciate the living, breathing woman that was sleeping peacefully beside her in bed.

Cosima kissed Delphine's back gently, running her fingers lightly over her ribs. As Cosima knew she would, Delphine shifted, letting out a soft grumble of protest. When there was work to be done, Delphine was out of bed before sunrise, but on her days off, she liked to sleep in, and resented being woken early.

Cosima smiled against the smooth skin of her back, placing a string of kisses from her spine to her shoulder.

"Cosima, I'm trying to sleep," Delphine husked out.

"I know," Cosima burrowed through the tangle of Delphine's curls to place a kiss on her neck, right below her ear. "But I'm up. I got bored."

Delphine rolled onto her back, giving Cosima a sleepy glare, her eyes still adjusting to the morning sun. "So you decided to wake me up?"

Cosima nodded, taking advantage of her new position to place a kiss on the top swell of Delphine's right breast. "I thought you could keep me entertained."

Cosima saw Delphine's lips twitch, trying to suppress her smile. "Oh? Did you have something particular in mind."

Cosima grinned, knowing that Delphine had a weakness for her smile. "Now that you mention it, I did."

Delphine stroked her hand over Cosima's shoulder, brushing her dreads back and leaning forward to press a kiss to the newly exposed skin. "Are you going to tell me what it is?" Cosima's eyes fluttered closed when Delphine nipped lightly at her skin.

"I was reading this really fascinating article yesterday on the evolutionary development of lymphocyte heterogeneity in the Pacific hagfish and thought maybe you wanted to talk about it." The gentle nip, turned into a playful bite, and Cosima yelped. "Or we could do something else."

Cosima slid her hand over the plane of Delphine's stomach, down, into the wet heat below. She stroked her fingers lightly through the short patch of hair, until she was cupping Delphine gently. Delphine sighed her approval, shifting her attention to Cosima's neck, raking her teeth softly over the tendon.

"I take it you like this idea?" Cosima whispered into Delphine's ear.

" _Oui_ ," Delphine answered, spreading her legs to grant Cosima greater access.

Cosima dipped her fingers into Delphine's opening. Not to enter, but to coat her fingers in the moisture that was already gathering. If Cosima had ever had any doubts whether or not Delphine truly found her attractive, the blonde's responsiveness to her touch would have long laid them to rest.

Cosima circled her now slick fingers against the hard nub of Delphine's clit. The blonde moaned, abandoning her assault on Cosima's neck and seeking her mouth.

Delphine was a kisser. It hadn't taken long for Cosima to realize that unless her mouth was otherwise occupied during sex, Delphine preferred it to be on hers. Cosima was all too happy to oblige.

Cosima nipped at Delphine's bottom lip, eliciting another soft groan from the blonde. Sliding her tongue along Delphine's she sucked gently, in the way she knew the blonde loved. Delphine cupped her hands around Cosima's face, stroking her fingers lightly along her jaw, silently urging her closer.

Cosima kept up her steady pressure on the blonde's clit. Reveling in every moan, gasp, and hitch in her breathing. It still wasn't enough. Cosima wanted more.

Reluctantly she broke the kiss. Trailing her lips along Delphine's neck.

" _Non._ _Reviens_ ," Delphine protested, trying to guide Cosima's mouth back to her own. Cosima shook her head, biting gently on the blonde's nipple. Delphine drew in a sharp breath through her nose, arching her back. Cosima grinned, teasing the velvety soft bit of flesh caught between her teeth with the tip of her tongue.

Tempting though they were, Delphine's breasts weren't her end destination. She wanted to fully envelope herself in the other woman. For that, there was only one solution. Slipping under the sheet, Cosima licked and nipped her way across Delphine's stomach.

The first time she had done this the blonde had laughingly tried to pull her out, insisting that she was going to suffocate herself. Cosima had assured her it was fine. Cotton was permeable. Besides, a little oxygen deprivation was a small price to pay for being able to fully surround herself in the heat and scent of her lover.

Cosima sucked lightly on the soft skin of Delphin's inner thigh, pushing her legs slightly wider with her hands. Cosima's only regret about her Delphine cocoon was that it made it difficult to fully appreciate the sight before her.

Cosima felt Delphine wrap her hand through her dreads. Not to direct her, but simply to anchor herself to the brunette. Delphine liked multiple points of contact during sex. Mouths, bodies, hands. She couldn't get enough. Cosima sometimes got the feeling that Delphine would crawl inside her skin if she could. Never quite close enough.

Cosima dipped her head, rubbing her nose back and forth through the wetness. Taking a moment to breathe deeply. To draw the heady scent that was uniquely Delphine into her lungs.

Delphine sighed above her, hand tightening in Cosima's hair.

With her nose nudging against Delphine's clit, Cosima swiped her tongue languidly through the wetness below. Her groan joined with Delphine's when the taste bloomed on her tongue. No matter how many times Cosima had done this, she could never get enough. She had once joked that she would make Delphine a craven addict, but it was Cosima that had grown dependent.

Delphine sifted her hips, opening them a bit wider. Cosima smiled against her, taking the not so subtle hint. Cosima teased the tip of her tongue around the delicate pair of lips guarding Delphine's entrance. Spreading them apart so that she could have direct access to the source that so enticed her.

Cosima lapped at the moisture greedily, her eyes sliding closed. Her thoughts were no longer on teasing Delphine, or even bringing her pleasure. Only one thought repeated over and over. More.

She nuzzled closer, her nose continuing to bump against Delphine's clit while she tried to work her tongue ever deeper.

Delphine's finger's cupped her jaw. " _S'il te plait, mon amour_."

Cosima blinked her eyes open, realizing she had lost track of time. Not sure if it had been seconds, minutes, or hours. Her attentions, while pleasureable, weren't direct enough to bring Delphine the release that she was seeking. Cosima placed an apologetic kiss on Delphine's clit.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tease."

Delphine's fingers stroked along her cheek. "Your intensity, and singular focus are one of the things I love most about you." Delphine shifted her hips. "When properly directed."

Cosima smirked, hearing the slight plea in Delphine's tone. Taking pity on her girlfriend she used her thumbs to open her more fully, giving Cosima unobstructed access.

Cosima ran the flat of her tongue across Delphine's now exposed clit, causing the other woman to gasp, and jerk her hips.

"Sorry." Cosima placed a light kiss to the sensitive nub. "Too much?"

" _Non._ " Delphine's voice was breathless.

"You sure?" Cosima knew it was a fine line between pleasure and pain, and the last thing she wanted to do was cause Delphine any discomfort.

"I am sure." Delphine placed her hand on the top of Cosima's head, for the first time, urging her to where she wanted her. "Please."

This time when Cosima ran her tongue over Delphine, she was met with a contented sigh.

" _Merci_ ," Delphine sighed, relaxing back into the mattress.

Cosima focused all her attention on the small knot of nerves at the top of Delphine's sex. Wrapping her lips around the small bundle, she sucked it slowly into her mouth. Careful not to to be too rough on the hyper sensitive flesh. Cosima quickly established the steady, pulsing rhythm that she knew would bring Delphine to climax.

" _Plus dur_ ," Delphine urged, rocking her hips against Cosima's mouth. Cosima did as she was asked, sucking the blonde's straining clit more firmly into her mouth.

" _Juste comme ça,_ " Delphine sighed.

Cosima was only able to give a few more forceful pulls before she felt all the muscles in Delphine's stomach pull tight, small tremors wracking her lower body. Cosima released the small bud with a reluctant, wet, pop. She stroked the area tenderly with her tongue, knowing just how much pressure to apply to ease Delphine through her release without crossing that fine line between pleasure and pain.

Delphine's hips rocked for a few more moments before finally stilling against the bed. Cosima knew that was her cue, but she was reluctant to leave her comfortable haven between Delphine's legs. She lay her head against Delphine's thigh, content to close her eyes, and simply breathe her in.

Her respite was short lived, as she knew it would be, and soon Delphine's hands were running along her jaw.

"Come up here with me," Delphine urged.

Placing a parting kiss to Delphine's sex, Cosima worked her way up Delphine's stomach. Making a brief detour to kiss the bullet wound, as she always did, before popping her head back above the sheet.

Cosima snuggled against Delphine's side, draping her body half on the now satiated blonde. "Still mad I woke you up?" Cosima asked, already knowing the answer.

Delphine turned her head, placing a kiss on Cosima's forehead. "I suppose I can forgive you...this time."

"So big of you," Cosima teased.

"I think so, yes."

"I guess next time I'll just let you sleep," Cosima sighed sadly. Delphine's hand, which had been rubbing lazy circles across Cosima's back, tensed, nails digging in. "Or not."

Delphine dipped her head, capturing Cosima's lips in a lazy kiss. She slid her tongue into Cosima's mouth, seeking out a trace of herself. Delphine groaned softly when she found what she was looking for.

Delphine rolled over, pinning Cosima beneath her.

"I believe it is now my turn."

* * *

Cosima paced restlessly back and forth at the end of the bed, waiting for Delphine to return to the room. Their suitcases rested near the door, packed and ready to go. Their time in South America was at an end. After a months long journey that had them traveling from one end of the continent to the other, they had inoculated all of the Leda's they could find.

They hadn't found them all. The few that had slipped past them continued to haunt Cosima. There was no longer an active monitoring network in place. There would be no further updates on clone health or whereabouts.

They had always known this was a possibility. The more time that passed, the more likely it was that by the time they finally arrived it would be too late. That either illness, or just the happenstance of life, would put the clones out of reach. They weren't giving up, not entirely, but they also couldn't afford to linger in any one place for too long. To do so put even more Leda's at risk.

Cosima had left Delphine at the clinic to keep her appointment with Livia Santos, Leda number 118, while she went back to their room to pack their belongings and prepare for the next leg of their journey. Australia was the next stop on their trip. Alex Williams had been showing what Cosima feared were early signs of the disease, and Cosima didn't feel they could put her treatment off any longer.

Plus, there was a micro cluster of five Leda's on the continent, making it the next logical choice. Cosima just hoped they weren't too late again. Sara, Alison, and even Delphine, had told her she was being too hard on herself, but Cosima couldn't help but feel responsible. Her sisters' lives depended on her making the right choices.

None of this was what had Cosima pacing in agitation, however. As much as she had weighing on her mind, she shouldn't have had the time, or energy, to worry about her relationship. There was nothing to worry about. The two of them had spent months traveling, and even with the hectic, almost non-stop travel, they were still blissfully happy. Yet always lurking in the background, taunting her; impossible to ignore; " _I'm French. We enjoy lovers_."

She had tried to let it go. Oh, how she had tried. Telling herself that she was being ridiculous. That she was borrowing trouble that didn't exist. Sometimes, she would even be able to go a few days, or a week, without the thought intruding. But inevitably, like a weed plucked out of an otherwise pristine flower patch, it would reappear. The roots still thriving beneath the surface. Just waiting for the chance to flourish.

Ignoring it wasn't working, so Cosima had resolved that it was better to root it out once and for all. To discuss it, deal with it, and then move on with their lives. One thing that the months of travel had solidified for her, beyond any shadow of a doubt, was that she wanted a life with Delphine.

She refused to let something as cliche as sex get in the way of that. She connected with Delphine in a way she never had with anyone before, and she didn't want to lose that. Refused to lose that.

If that meant that occasionally Delphine would sleep with other people, well, Cosima would live with it. Would learn to leave with it. The weeks of ruminating over it had provided her with a little bit of clarity about how such an arrangement could work for her. Now she just needed to see if her rules and boundaries matched up with Delphine's.

Cosima was picking absently at her cuticle when the door swung open and Delphine breezed in, all sunshine and smiles.

" _Bonjour, ma chérie,_ " Delphine said with a smile, walking over to kiss Cosima in greeting. Spotting the packed suitcases she sent Cosima a scolding look. "I thought you said you wanted to come back to the room to Skype with Kira and Sarah before bed time. You didn't have to pack alone. We have hours before we have to leave."

Even though it had been months, and Cosima felt better than ever, Delphine couldn't help but worry about her over stressing herself.

Cosima waved off the concern. "I did. I had some time to kill after we got done, so I figure I would get the packing out of the way. That way we would have a bit of time, just the two of us, with nowhere to be, and nothing to do."

After sending Kira off to bed Sarah had wasted no time in telling her she needed to get her head out of her twat, and to just talk to her girlfriend already. She was driving herself, and everyone else, crazy with her constant worrying.

Delphine gave her a knowing smirk, dropping her bag by her feet, and advancing on Cosima. The blonde had her shirt half unbuttoned, and was nibbling delicately on her collarbone, before Cosima remembered she had something she wanted to discuss with her.

"Wait, wait." Cosima pushed gently on Delphine's shoulders, creating a small gap between them.

Delphine frowned at her, brow creased in concern. "Are you not feeling well?"

"No. I mean, yes. I'm fine. I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Talk?"

Cosima nodded. "I've had something on my mind, and it never seemed like the right time. Not that now is necessarily the right time, but I can't keep putting it off, because, frankly, it's driving me a little crazy."

Delphine's frown deepened, and she pulled further back, pulling the edges of Cosima's shirt together. "You sound troubled."

"No, not troubled. Just...I've been thinking. A lot. About our relationship, and where you see it going." Noticing the slightly alarmed expression on Delphine's face Cosima reached out and grasped her hand. "Not like that!" she hastened to assure her. "I'm sorry, I'm making a total mess of this. Let's sit down."

Cosima sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the slightly tense blonde down beside her. Cosima entwined their fingers, and turned her body to face Delphine.

"I know we haven't really had a chance to talk, really talk, about the future. We've been so busy rushing around trying to save all the Leda's that it hasn't left time for too much long term planning. But I think, or at least I hope, that we are both on the same page about spending it together."

Finally, a smile creased Delphine's features, and she nodded, looking relieved. " _Oui_. We are on the same page."

Cosima smiled. "Good, that's good."

Delphine dipped her head, kissing Cosima on the side of her neck. "Are we done talking?"

Cosima was so tempted to take the easy way out, to just say yes, and spend the next several hours in bed with her ridiculously gorgeous girlfriend. But Cosima rarely took the easy way out.

"Um...not quite."

Delphine pulled back, frown back in place. " _Non_?"

Cosima shook her head. "I mean, it was part of it, but not the biggest part. The part I really wanted to talk about, the thing that's been running around in my mind like a chipmunk on methamphetamine for the last few months, is how we're going to handle the uh...the um…the other people." Cosima finally spit it out, and held her breath, waiting for Delphine's reaction.

Delphine looked at her, perplexed. "The other people?"

"Yeah...I've just...I've never really done this before? The whole open relationship thing. I mean, there've been a few non-exclusive friends with benefits situations, but it's never been a thing in any of my actual relationship relationships."

"Open relationship," Delphine repeated slowly.

"Yeah, sorry, that's what we call it stateside. I guess for the French it's just...a relationship," Cosima quipped with a smile, trying to make a joke even though she was a bundle of nerves.

Delphine didn't laugh. "What has brought this on?" Delphine rubbed absently at her forehead, as though a headache was building.

"Oh, I ...nothing really. It's just something I've been thinking about for a while now. I know it's probably hopelessly American of me to need to talk about it, but we promised; no more secrets. I thought it would be better to get it out in the open. So that we're on the same page. No surprises."

"The same page. Yes. It is important that we are on the same page."

"So I..yeah. Thought we should talk about it. After that whole thing with Shay, it never really came up again."

"Shay." Cosima was a little taken aback by the acrimony in Delphine's tone. She knew that at first Delphine had been no great fan of the other woman, but she had eventually given her blessing. Not that it had mattered by that point. Cosima knew she would have to end it. She didn't want Shay. She wanted Delphine.

Delphine slid her hand from Cosima's grasp. "So what is it that you would like to discuss?" Delphine crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

"Oh...uh…" Cosima was unsettled by the sudden feeling of distance between them. "Just the, um, the rules?" When Delphine remained silent, Cosima kept talking, now just wanting to get this over with. "I've been giving it some thought. About what would work for me, and what wouldn't, and I just wanted to talk that through…"

"And what would work for you?" Delphine's expression remained closed, and Cosima wanted to tell her that they could just forget it, that they didn't have to talk about it today. Or ever. She felt like she had made a foolish, naive mistake in bringing this whole topic up. She thought it would be good for them to have clarity, but Delphine just seemed upset. Maybe talking about was considered tacky?

Cosima set her jaw, determined to finish this now that it was started. Delphine may not like talking about it, but Cosima needed to in order to make any semblance of a peace with the subject.

"I think regular testing is a must." Cosima decided to start with the science. The science at least, was easy. "At least twice a year." Depending on how...active… Delphine was Cosima realized that may not be enough. Her mind shied away from the thought. Six months would have to be fine.

"Safe sex. Always. If there's a slip up, immediate testing. No question.

"Not in our house, assuming we live together. I think it would better to keep any extracurricular activities….outside of the house." Just the thought of Delphine with someone else in their bed was enough to make Cosima sick. Knowing it was happening would be bad enough. Knowing it was happening in their bed would be intolerable.

Delphine clenched her jaw. "Anything else?" she asked tersely, eyes staring straight head, refusing to meet Cosima's gaze.

"I'm not open to the idea of three-ways, and I don't think that a report on every partner needs to happen. As long as everyone is safe, and testing is regular, that should be fine." Cosima was hoping that after this conversation ended, she could just try to pretend it wasn't happening. She was going to strive for blissful ignorance. "Discretion is good."

Delphine nodded sharply. "Is that it?"

Cosima bit her lip, not knowing how to bring up this next item. It truly wasn't any of her business, but in away, it did, or could, affect both of them. "I don't know if you're currently doing anything as far as birth control, but it may be something to consider if-"

Delphine shot up off the bed. "Arrêtez! Just...just stop!" Delphine shook her head, fists clenched tightly. "I need a minute."

Cosima rose, uncertain. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sure you're used to not having to talk through all this. It must all seem so terribly gauche." Cosima reached out to rest a comforting hand on Delphine's back, but the blonde jerked away from her touch as though burned. Cosima let her hand fall to her side, hurt by the rejection.

Delphine laughed bitterly. "That is why you think I am upset?"

Cosima's brown crinkled. "Well….yeah?" Delphine shook her head, muttering a string of French curses under her breath that Cosima couldn't quite decipher.

Cosima crossed her arms defensively. "Look, I'm sorry if I've bungled this whole thing, but not all of us were born French."

Delphine glared at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Cosima threw up her hands. "That not all of were born being okay with this! I know I'm from Berkley, the birthplace of the free love movement, but it's not something I grew up with. My parents, for all their idiosyncrasies, were as traditional and American as apple pie when it came to love and marriage."

"Cleary you did not take after them."

"Hey, don't put this on me," Cosima protested, hotly. "I'm just following your lead."

"My lead?" Delphine questioned incredulously.

"'You know, my security concerns, they're not jealousy. I'm French. We enjoy lovers'." Cosima parroted the line back at Delphine, verbatim, even if the accent could have used a little work. Sarah really was the more gifted sister in that area.

Delphine blew out a breath. "You can't be serious." Cosima frowned, not following. Delphine threw up her hands in exasperation. "Cosima, I was blind with jealousy!"

"You were? But you said…"

"I was trying to salvage what small shred of dignity I still had left," Delphine exclaimed. "The thought of you and Shay..." Delphine shook her head. "It drove me mad!  _Putain de bordel de merde,_  Cosima I threatened the woman with a razor blade."

"Yeah...I heard about that. That was way totally not cool, by the way."

Delphine rested her hands on her hips. "And you still thought I was not jealous?"

"You were so dismissive about. 'I'm French.'" Cosima mimicked, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

"I do not sound like that," Delphine chastised her, with a small smile. "Nor do I flick my hair."

Cosima bit her lip, looking at Delphine hopefully. "So, uh...does this mean that you aren't down with the whole open relationship thing?"

Delphine's eyes flashed. " _Oui_. I think our relationship should remain closed."

Cosima sighed, her eyes fluttering shut in relief. "That's good. I wasn't really a big fan of the idea." Cosima felt Delphine's arms wind around her, and pull her tight to the blonde's chest. Cosima slotted into the space under Delphine's chin perfectly, as though it had been made specifically for her. Maybe it had been.

Delphine kissed the top of her head, stroking her hands over her back. "Then why?"

Cosima shrugged. "I thought it was part of the deal. I didn't want to lose you."

"You will never lose me." Delphine tightened her arms. "And this way, no one will need to get hurt."


End file.
